


you're going to have to fight (and you're going to win)

by Sunshine_Wishes



Series: i saw seven birds (taz au) [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote and edited this entire thing in one sitting it was like I was possessed, Mentioned Character Death, but it is very vague and not graphic at all, it's more or less taz balance episode 66, some implied death/injury, taz au, there is one very brief scene where a character asks another to kill them, you don't need to know anything about taz to read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshine_Wishes/pseuds/Sunshine_Wishes
Summary: it starts like this:Vox Machina accidentally brings catastrophe upon the world, Vax is gone, and Pike Trickfoot takes it upon herself to fix their mistakes by whatever means necessary.it ends like this:Vox Machina finally find a home, for good this time.
Relationships: mentioned gilmore/vax/keyleth, mentioned perc'ahlia, mentioned pikelan, mentioned vaxleth - Relationship
Series: i saw seven birds (taz au) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974565
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	you're going to have to fight (and you're going to win)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i wrote this entirely because the thought of vex and vax as lup and taako absolutely DESTROYS ME. i'm pretty sure this is going to be a series.
> 
> uhhh this is my first cr fic on here, but you can ABSOLUTELY expect more from me in the near future. i'm working on a few different ones rn!!

It starts like this:

A group of adventures, coined Vox Machina, are sent to explore possible other worlds. They are given an airship. They lose their home, but they are given a gift: _time._ (or a curse, it depends on who you are _._ vox machina eventually feels both ways.) Vox Machina spend nearly 100 years jumping through various different worlds. They grow close, fall in love, become the family so many of them lacked. It takes several cycles, but they figure it out: They must find the Light of Creation, before the Hunger arrives. If they don’t find the Light, the Hunger will eat the world they are on. If they retrieve it, the Hunger only attacks, and when the Hunger fails to find the Light, the world is saved. As long as their ship leaves the Prime Material Plane of each new world, all of Vox Machina will live on, regardless of whether or not they die on the world. They repeat this. Again and again ( _and again and again and again and again and-_ ). Until year 100. 

Ultimately, Vox Machina decide that the Light’s power must be reduced to keep the Hunger at bay. Percy, with the help of a local arcanist named Allura, splits the Light into seven different artifacts, one for each member of Vox Machina (how poetic of them, to design the world’s destruction after themselves). What the artifacts are does not matter. The only thing that matters is that they brought destruction upon the world. This had not been the intention. For almost two years, they watched as their creations destroyed this new world. Until...

~~~

Vex has been searching for her brother for over an hour. She’s about to give up when she catches the sight of a lump of black sitting on the deck of the ship, and starts toward him.

“Vax? Darling, is that you?” She calls tentatively. The lump of black looks up. Vax’s eyes are red and puffy, but he pulls a tight smile as she approaches.

“...Hey Stubby.” His voice is flat, and concern stabs through Vex’s gut. She sits next to him, pressing their sides together. He leans against her, his head falling onto her shoulder. There’s a thick silence, and Vax takes a shuddering breath. Vex puts her arm around him, pulling him tighter.

“My… my _fucking_ artifact finished another battle. Destroyed a whole town this time.” Vex tries to stifle a gasp, and only mostly succeeds. Vax sighs, pulling away. He rubs fiercely at his eyes.

“Vax… you know it’s not your fault right? Vex whispers and catches his arm before he can pull away completely.

“I… know that, really… but… we doomed all these fucking people! This wasn’t our fucking decision to make!” Tears are trickling down Vax’s cheeks now, and Vex pulls him to her, wrapping him in her arms. He curls into her, and she’s reminded of him as a young child, with too many feelings for his body. They used to sit like this, then, too.

“Vax, none of us could have foreseen this. It wasn’t our decision, but we had to make it. Someone had to make it. Besides, all this is better than the Hunger coming, right?” Vax shudders as she speaks, and Vex runs a gentle hand through his hair. She can feel his tears on her neck and collarbone. 

“You’re right, Stubby, as always.” The joke is half-hearted at best, but Vex chuckles anyway.

“Always am.”

The next day, Vax is gone. The only thing he leaves behind is a note reading “Be back soon”, and a single raven feather. He never comes back.

~~~

(as vax chokes on the blood in his lungs and poison in his veins, dying alone in a dark underground cave, he can only think of keyleth, standing dappled in the sunlight, and his sister, growing into the beautiful woman she has become. the last words on his lips are a whispered “forgive me.” to who, he’s not exactly sure.)

~~~

And then Pike takes it upon herself to change everything, and it goes like this:

Grog and Scanlan are drinking. They don’t say much. When you’ve spent over 100 years together, why would you need to? They sit in relative silence until Grog slams his cup down.

“Do y’ever… regret this?” He mumbles. Scanlan pauses, taken off guard. 

“Y’know, I think I do.” He puts down his cup and opens his mouth and- wait a second. He looks up at... Grog. That _is_ Grog, right? And he’s Scanlan. Members of… Vox… Vox what? Vox Machine? No, that’s not right… He looks up at… at Grog. Grog looks confused, blinking repeatedly. 

“Who… are you ‘gain? No… you’re Scanlan. I know that. What’s going on?” Scanlan blinks. Wait. How does he know this man? He wants to help him, but… who is he? He… can’t remember. He looks around. He knows this room, but why? He looks back at his memories and… him singing for his people he _knows_ that he likes… family? Him laughing heartily with a lithe man dressed in all black… Him holding the hand of a dark haired woman, kissing her gently… Who is she? The world is spinning. He puts a hand to his chest and realizes that it is heaving, and his cheeks are dripping wet. Something tells him this is _wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG_ , but he can’t place why. 

Oh. He’s on his knees now. The other man… who is he? He’s mumbling something. Through the haze of panic, he can vaguely make out the words.

“I’m Grog… I’m Grog Strongjaw… Grog…”

~~~

Keyleth and Vex are leaning over a map on the deck of the airship. Vax has been gone for three weeks. They’ve been searching for two, and they’ve gotten nowhere. Every lead they try to follow has been a dead end, and they’re trying, but it’s exhausting. 

Keyleth points to a location on the map, one of the last they haven’t yet followed, and Vex realizes she’s been talking.

“And um.. there’s a… there’s a dungeon out near Kraghammer? It’s a… subterranean, demonic keep thing. I was gonna check it out tonight, if you wanna come with me.” Vex sighs, dragging her hands over her eyes. Where _is_ Vax? When she finds him, she’s going to punch him so hard for putting them through this.

“Yes, of course, darling... remind me, how far is that in relation to the last battle?”

“Um, I’ve marked it here.” Keyleth points to a black star, fairly close to Kraghammer.

 **“** Seems like as good a place as any… Shall we do the usual? We go down, start talking to people, cast some spells, see what we can find?”

 **“** Yep. That’s uh, I mean it hasn’t worked so far, but… maybe we’ll get lucky one of these times...” There’s a dark pause, and Keyleth sighs, tipping her head forward so her hair shrouds her face. Vex leans heavily on the table. She’s just so tired...

“Vex... what if he’s just gone?” 

**“** …Who?”

Who were they talking about? She has a vague relocation of someone who looks like her. Why do they look like her? Keyleth whirls to face Vex. Tears roll down her face.

“V— Vex? Vex I’m…” Why is she crying? What’s going on? Where are they? _Who are they talking about?_

 **“** What if who’s gone?” 

**“** What are we…? Oh, gods, Vax… Vex, I’m- I can’t remember his face, Vex. Vex, where-” 

**“** _Whose face_ ?” Vex is missing something. Something _important,_ and every nerve in her body is screaming, screaming SCREAMING-

 **“** Is this Fisher? Uh… Vex, kill me! Right now! I’ll remember if I’m a lich, I can- please, Vex, just kill me! I’ll be okay! I can’t forget, I’m, I’m begging you, _please,_ Vex! Please!” Before she even registers the words, Vex has her bow out, explosive arrow flying, and she watches in horror as a woman she doesn’t recognize is thrown backward and off the side of the airship. There’s just enough time for her to see the woman smile at her before she disappears entirely. Her strength abruptly leaves her, and Vex crumples to her knees, head in her hands. Who did she just kill? What is going on? How did she get here? 

_Who is she who is she who is she who is she who is she who-_

~~~

Percy is worried about Pike. She’s been visibly pale and nervous, and has actively been avoiding them. He’s not sure that he’s seen her in the same room as anyone else in Vox Machina for at least a week. As he comes across her door he pauses, runs over what he’s going to say, and pushes it open. 

Immediately, his eyes land on her standing in front of Fisher’s tank, the glow casting her skin in beautiful blues and purples. She whirls to face him, and he realizes with a start that there are tears running down her cheeks. Behind her, floating in the tank, wrapped in Fisher’s tendrils, is a thick blue book bound with silver trim. It’s... one of her journals, and it’s being consumed by Fisher. Percy immediately panics, beginning to run over the details of their journey, but they’re... blurring and vanishing. The creation of his first gun. Falling for Vex, and then their first kiss. Hugging Keyleth as tightly as he could after her first death. Becoming a family again. 

No no _no no no no no-_

His eyes flit back to the... fish? floating in the tank. What _is_ that thing?

“No…” He whimpers, barely able to get the words out. Pike runs to his side, her eyes watery and scared. Why is she panicking again? 

“Gods, Percy… You weren’t supposed to see this, I’m so sorry… Percy…” His legs give out under him, and Pike catches him.

“What are you do- what?” Who is she again? The woman above him is crying in earnest now.

“Percy, please- this is just for a little bit, I’m gonna stop this, what we’ve done to this world. I’m gonna find you a place where you can be happy again, it’s just for a little while, and then, you’ll remember, I promise.”

“Who are you?” He’s crying. Why is he crying? The woman holding him starts to run her fingers through his hair. Why? 

“I’m so sorry Percy. I love you. This’ll all be over soon.” The woman’s fingers flit in what Percy vaguely recognizes as magic, and everything goes black.

~~~

Pike sends Vex to the forests outside of Emon. She had always loved them. It’s a hard life, but Vex does well. She meets Trinket, the gift that this new world gives to her. (she lives with no memory of her brother, her mirror image, her family. pike whispers soft apologies as she leaves a sleeping vex in the forest _i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry please forgive me_ )

She sends Scanlan to the city of Kymal, even though she desperately wants to keep him near her. They cannot stay together, as much as she might wish it. He thrives. He joins a circus, and becomes a father. (pike watches him closely, and she wonders if he’s happier now.)

Percy, she sends to Whitestone. He finds himself in workshops, working as an apprentice and working his way up. He re-invents guns. (she does not want to take his achievements, she really doesn’t, but his technological advancements were so tied to the missions and nothing, _nothing_ , of that can remain.)

She does not know where Keyleth has gone. She just hopes that wherever she is, she’s doing okay. When she collected Vex she had been babbling about a woman dying and she _hopes hopes hopes_ that it is just a remaining memory, but she has a sinking feeling that she’s wrong. She can _not_ be responsible for one of her family’s death. (keyleth, of course, is alive. she travels the world, looking for vax. when she stumbles upon vex, scanlan and percy, it is an accident. they part ways, but she follows from a distance, waiting, watching, and putting together what is going on.)

Pike creates the Greyskull Keep and keeps Grog close, even though it hurts, hurts so _fucking_ badly to see her best friend every day, so close, but so _so_ far. He is so often confused, the memories so key to his sense of self destroyed. She pushes the pain away. She doesn’t deserve to dawdle now. She must find the artifacts. She must find them, and she will destroy them, or offer them to Sarenrae, or _something._ She _has_ to do this. This is for _her_ to do. She cannot stop, even to cry. She doesn’t deserve the tears. (she cries anyway.)

~~~

It continues like this:

Eventually, Percy, Vex, and Scanlan find themselves in Kraghammer. They turn into a little adventuring party and start working for a strange dwarf and his other hired hand, a lovely orange haired woman that seems oddly familiar. 

Vex and Percy can’t figure out the strange sense of longing that overcomes them when they look at each other. Their early relationship consists of stolen glances and brushed hands. Why does it feel so familiar, like they’re doing it all for the second time? 

The three of them and their boss find their way to the deepest portion of Kraghammer and find a skeleton. When she sees it, Vex stops. Something about the skeleton _resonates_ with her (resonates in the same way that it hurts when she sees herself in the mirror, when her reflection makes her want to cry). On the skeleton is a dark cloak, a single dagger, and a fuck ton of raven feathers. Scanlan and Percy have no use for a dagger, so Vex takes it. When she picks it up, she bursts into tears. She can’t explain why. 

But then she has no time to think about it because someone who was supposed to be their ally has stolen what is apparently a very powerful relic and they barely survive as it destroys an entire town, and then they’re being inducted into a secret society. (every time she puts too much thought in, her mind buzzes painfully. still, it remains at the back of her mind, always nagging her.)

~~~

The first time Pike sees them, she almost cries. They’re okay, they’re _alive_! She keeps a straight face. She can let _nothing_ slip. (she still does, because the relief at having her family again far outweighs the need for secrecy.)

They get the second relic, and the third, and the fourth. They become more competent, more like the family she remembers. 

And then they get the fifth and sixth. They almost don’t come back, and when they finally do- Percy doesn’t, and Vex and Scanlan look _terrible_. She has a feeling that the gig is almost up.

~~~

Vex never completely trusted Pike, even though for _some reason_ , every part of her desperately wanted to. When Keyleth comes to them, brows set and hands shaking, it only reaffirms her suspicion. She and Scanlan find the second voidfish and drink its ichor, and then they’re pulled out of Pike’s office to stand in front of her. Her face is panicked and Keyleth is screaming at her _and and and and-_

The memories hit her like a bag of bricks and for a moment Vex forgets how to breathe. _Vax disappearing into the shadows with a wink and a mischievous grin. Vax trying and failing to look innocent after shaving half of Grog’s beard. Vax throwing his arms around Keyleth. Vax laughing so hard at one of Scanlan’s jokes that he falls off his chair. Vax and her curled up together as teenagers, alone in the woods, because they only ever had each other. Vax Vax Vax Vax Vax-_

Vex crumples to the ground, clutching her head with shaking fingers. She’s vaguely aware of Trinket making worried noises next to her and Scanlan moving sluggishly on her left, probably grappling with memories of his own, but she can only think of _Vax._ Vax, her other half and twin brother. Vax, who had too much love for his own good. Vax, the one who _Pike_ brought upon herself to erase. Vex lifts her head. Pike is still looking at her with that _stupid fucking_ sad smile on her face. How fucking _dare_ she make the decision for them. How fucking DARE SHE. 

Vex pulls herself to her feet and tugs her bow from her shoulder. Keyleth makes a nervous noise that sounds somewhat like her name but Vex is too far gone to care. In one smooth movement, she draws an arrow and points it directly at Pike’s traitorous fucking face. Pike, of course, just looks at her with the same sad look on her face. It only further fuels Vex’s anger. _She_ doesn’t get to feel regret or sadness about all of this. Not when she destroyed Vex’s _entire fucking life._

“Ten. Nine.” Pike has the _audacity_ to look alarmed. Maybe she should have seen this coming.

“Vex, i know you’re upset-”

“Eight.” 

“Listen-”

“Seven.”

“Please listen to me, _please-_ ” Behind Vex, a gun cocks.

“What the hell are you _doing_?” Scanlan sounds panicked, but he doesn’t move. Good. He doesn’t deserve to take Pike’s punishment.

“Five.”

“The chance to explain yourself was about a _dozen_ memories ago.” Percy’s voice is dark, all inflection lost. Pike raises a hand, opens her mouth, and vex _snaps_. 

“YOU FUCKING TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!” 

(she doesn’t fire, in the end. later she will look back and find that although she doesn’t regret her anger, she wonders if she would have truly been able to let that arrow fly.)

~~~

It ends like this:

After it's all over, Vex stands with her brother in the fields outside of the ruins of Emon. They won. They won, and she feels _complete_ again, and she has her family and things are going to be hard for a while but that’s ok because they _won._ And sure, Vax and Keyleth work for the Raven Queen now, but they’ll still be able to see each other and that’s enough. She makes him promise to talk to her at least once a month. All the rest of the time he can do his creepy Reaper business and the apparently developing… Thing he has going on with Kiki and... what’s his name… Gilmore! (he might be her twin brother, her mirror image, her other half, but she makes sure to pull him aside and tell him that if he _ever_ hurts keyleth- he laughs and pulls her into a hug and that’s the end of the conversation but neither of them mind. it’s been a decade.) 

The Hunger is gone. No more running. This is their world, will remain their world. And as the sun sets, for the first time in over 100 years, the members of Vox Machina can truly feel like it’s going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> do you ever think about the RIDICULOUS coincidence that occurred with lup/taako & vex/vax??? like. two sets of twins in real play dnd podcasts that started around the same time that had rough childhoods where they could only rely on each other and as such it took a while for them to warm up to their eventual found family. both sets of twins play similar roles within their parties. they're both identical twins. also lup and vax both work for the raven queen. uhhh thanks for coming to my ted talk


End file.
